Showing posts with label atheism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label atheism. Show all posts
Monday, 23 December 2013
Official Pastafarian Christmas Message of Understanding
From the pastafarian church.
The pastafarian church would like to take a moment during the festive season to remind you that you are loved by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
You might encounter a pastafarian anywhere. We are members of your community.
As pastafarians we may ask for your understanding if you ask us to handle pasta based products.
If a pastafarian checkout operator in a supermarket asks you to go to another register please understand that it's done out of sacred religious observance and not intended in any way to make your Christmas shopping any more difficult.
For some pastafarians, handling pasta products (Excluding Gnocci of course, because that's not a real pasta) is confronting, and while we don't wish in any way to make your Christmas preparations more difficult, we may ask for a small amount of patience. Except for Gnocchi of course, because that's not real pasta.
So while we may not join you in eating a hearty helping of lasagne, we do of course hope you enjoy yours.
The pastafarian movement wishes everyone a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
May you and your family be touched by his noodley appendage during the festive season.
He boiled for your sins!
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
Wednesday, 18 September 2013
Dinosaurs in Genesis and Contaminated Holy Water!
Now for a story that could leave a bad taste in your mouth.
According to the mail online, most holy water is contaminated with feacal matter and could be harmful to your health.
The report quotes from a study by the Institute of Hygiene and Applied Immunology in Vienna that analysed holy springs and fonts in Austria.
It found that some holy springs had concentrations of nitrates in them from agriculture. It also found that 86% of holy water has feacal matter in it, and every millilitre of water has up to 62 million bacteria in it!
A microbiologist from the Medical University of Vienna recommends that the responsible authorities and priests put up warning signs by the holy springs. He also recommends that salt could be added to holy water in fonts to reduce the chance of bacteria thriving, he also suggests that holy water in churches should be changed regularly. Personally I'd recommend staying away from Church altogether. Holy shit!
Have you ever heard of the Blue Ridge Christian Academy? Perhaps this will jog your memory.
The Blue Ridge Christian Academy was a Christian school in South Carolina at the cutting edge of creationist science education.
Did I say cutting edge ? Sorry, I meant to say it was a steaming pile of horseshit that milked the willfully ignorant in an attempt to indoctrinate their unfortunate offspring into the intellectual desert wasteland that is creationism.
According to "The Christian Post", the Blue Ridge Christian Academy will close down due to a lack of funds, despite an appeal by Mark Looy and Ken Ham on the "Answers in Genesis" website. The school needed $200,000 to remain open and in the end managed to raise $15,000. Answers in Genesis also asked for readers to pray for the school. I guess they didn't pray hard enough.
I'd like to ask you all to ponder this sad loss of academic powerhouse. I know I'm going to be choking back the tears for nanoseconds.
Just think, those kids wont learn about how the world is 6,000 years old or that humans and dinosaurs coexisted. This loss of a vibrant thinktank of creationism will be about as sadly missed as a case of syphilis.
According to the mail online, most holy water is contaminated with feacal matter and could be harmful to your health.
The report quotes from a study by the Institute of Hygiene and Applied Immunology in Vienna that analysed holy springs and fonts in Austria.
It found that some holy springs had concentrations of nitrates in them from agriculture. It also found that 86% of holy water has feacal matter in it, and every millilitre of water has up to 62 million bacteria in it!
A microbiologist from the Medical University of Vienna recommends that the responsible authorities and priests put up warning signs by the holy springs. He also recommends that salt could be added to holy water in fonts to reduce the chance of bacteria thriving, he also suggests that holy water in churches should be changed regularly. Personally I'd recommend staying away from Church altogether. Holy shit!
Have you ever heard of the Blue Ridge Christian Academy? Perhaps this will jog your memory.
The Blue Ridge Christian Academy was a Christian school in South Carolina at the cutting edge of creationist science education.
Did I say cutting edge ? Sorry, I meant to say it was a steaming pile of horseshit that milked the willfully ignorant in an attempt to indoctrinate their unfortunate offspring into the intellectual desert wasteland that is creationism.
According to "The Christian Post", the Blue Ridge Christian Academy will close down due to a lack of funds, despite an appeal by Mark Looy and Ken Ham on the "Answers in Genesis" website. The school needed $200,000 to remain open and in the end managed to raise $15,000. Answers in Genesis also asked for readers to pray for the school. I guess they didn't pray hard enough.
I'd like to ask you all to ponder this sad loss of academic powerhouse. I know I'm going to be choking back the tears for nanoseconds.
Just think, those kids wont learn about how the world is 6,000 years old or that humans and dinosaurs coexisted. This loss of a vibrant thinktank of creationism will be about as sadly missed as a case of syphilis.
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